Bleed

While the clouds bleed upwards

While Joni Mitchell sings anthems

I am exalted;

Relaxed, free, and spinning wildly.

Pausing

I stand at the back door to the course

(An end of yet another era)

Watching understated clouds

Against Petone’s dark sprouting green hill

Russian tragedy backdrop

Reacting to many a million moment past;

‘Tears and fears and feeling proud,

To say I love you right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I’ve looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange

They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed

Well some things lost, but some things gained

In living every day.

Oh I’ve looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose, and still some how

Its life’s allusions I recall

I really don’t know life at all.’

At this acme I feel such loss, such ensuing emptiness.

Could it be

Nobody’s immediately here to have

My happiness?

My friends,

The beacons of awareness and street wisdomry

Who many an hour winnow;

Biding atomic seconds with such obsolescent precision.

I worship them, I love

I laud in their presence

Eternally reminded of

Just how much their inspiration radiates;

Yet I cannot have any of them

To be my own.

Our binary dna once unravelled

Unravels the entire woven cloth

That is ours to share amongst ourselves.

But, when all is said and done, I return

Alone.