The Hanging

aaah. returned to un-hulled millet, chickpea, vege concoction.
flavoursome.

but a tired old taste that rises out of the ashes of a burnt out rose.

just got back from cleaning out and putting out the recycling at tory st (satisfying),

then a non-existent film committee meeting?
i am not sure what happened, but nobody was around in the designated meeting space.

so instead i went to the launch gathering of 'local food week'
which had a whole lot of short speeches by local (organic) farmers, beer makers (what's the technical name for them?) and ngo's like kaibosh.

empowering. invigorating.
but the audience consisted of the same old crowd i see at most things. i am getting tired of the stereotyped wholesome person! there are too many, and they are now cliche.

i think i realised that at luminate,
and then it was further affirmed at the south karori commune's equinox party where i fell asleep by the fire for most of the night!

do you know what i mean?


when you can predict how a person lives, even if it is your ideal lifestyle/thoughts they think, its gets boring.


stagnant.

aah. lucretius. shall have a perusal about for that almighty piece of writing. imagine, what perception. its so refreshing when so much of what we are surrounded with is 20th century onwards.

(i fear my tiredness has brought the Cynicism out of me!)

but ATOMS! fuck yeah.

but i am such a sucker for marion cotillard's eyes, and those cheek bones. such sexual attraction!

and what a fucking good name?

rust and bone.


its almost like scraping fingernails across a blackboard.

your thoughts of freedom triggered this thought.
maybe it is freedom within identity, ourselves; the cosmos within that we seek?

freedom without, in the wider world, is shit and time consuming.
i remember being freed by becoming vegan, because it limited my choices. 

no supermarkets. not 95% of the menu. etc etc.

but i do enjoy exploring this idea of the cosmos within that most eastern philosophies hang off.its almost like the pool of calm/freedom that we seek within ourselves, is enlightenment,

is a suspended world greater than the world we think we are a part of.

its hanging there.
a shard of glass, polished facets on it, some jagged pieces, just hanging there.

but when we are truly free, that shard of glass is no longer a shard. its a magnificent world that we can delve in with no trouble, and seek whenever the outer world troubles us?

i think alex grey tries to tap into that....?

something that you may be interested in is charles eisenstein's 'the ascent of humanity'.

i have not yet read it (still in my reading drought), but its often quoted and i often agree with what is said.

what did you think of the life of pi?
 those aerial shots of the boat, raft and the vast sunset reflected waters. that is so close to sublime.

we aren't living the sublime when we watch the film, but i feel pi's awe is instilled in us?

time can be freedom. various places. various situations.
but what about love? is there not freedom in that.
and why?

oh i long so much to be loved romantically!
hahaha.

with that thought,

i will take myself to bed and traverse the hemisphere to the middle of a chinese village where there is abundant health. abundant old people. happiness. and community.

and in that world i will sleep in.